everybody knows it.

The dentist chair is awkward. All of the tissue paper crumpling at each square inch of your ass, making those noises, all shuffling and chafing. I've just had my first cavity filled today. I am kind of bummed because I enjoyed being able to pridefully say, "well...I've never had a cavity" in response to someone disgustedly contorting their face because it is somehow revealed that I only brush once a day. My mouth is also half numb. Along with my tongue. It is extremely awkward to run into people and especially order from le sbux. In the last forty-five minutes after leaving the dentist in town I've already ran into my cousin and old friend, both times explaining why I'm lisping horribly and smiling crooked. The other day a Seattle's Best customer, who was sitting down at a table, exasperatedly got up from her seat and made her way up to the counter. She was limping and being all awkward. So I, the great diffuser of awkwardness, made a friendly comment, "Oh, did your leg fall asleep?" "No." She shot back, "I had a stroke."

OH.

I see.

Nice, Landon. Real nice.